Just a head's up - this is going to be a bitchy blog entry. I am going to be complaining so if you don't want to read it, please click the "x" button to close out. Thank you for your time!


Well, first off I have been here a little over 3 months and it is not want I had hoped it would be. I hate my living situation....I don't like my job....I am too poor to go to NYC (hell, I am too poor to eat decent food sometimes)....and I don't see any of the friends I made through the internet that live up here. I had this image in my head that I would move and my new life would start where I felt loved and wanted and I would be happy, since my life in S.C. turned out to be total shit. Well, I was wrong. Completely wrong. I mean, I am glad I see people from time to time and LOVE that I have been to NYC a couple of times but.....I don't know. I wanted this dream so bad that I put every bit of my energy into what it was going to be like and now real life set in; I feel like I have no purpose now. The friends I made are drifting away from me and I hardly ever speak to them, except on a rare occasion (a few only speak to me when they want something). I've also been continuously sick since I have moved up here and that's not helping my mood. I am starting to revert back to my severe depression and I really don't want to do that, but it seem inevitable. I know the whole "You need to go out and do something." Well, I did. I moved many states away from my original destination on a whim and I am still in the same place I was mentally. I have no money to go out and live it up or the funds to spend on gas/subway rides to audition for a show. Majority of the time, I either *want* to cry or *actually* do. I honestly hate my life!