Insomnia

0 comments Posted by spiderdj82 at 2:25 AM


It's a new day and new attitude. I am not going to apologize for my last post because what I wrote is how I was feeling that day, and why apologize for your feelings?!?


Anywhoo....it is currently 5:30am and I haven't been able to fall asleep, so I am watching "The Dark Knight" and drinking generic Mr. Pibb (I drink what father buys). I really like this movie, but I don't think it is as amazing as almost everyone makes it out to be. Honestly, if it wasn't for Heath Ledger, this movie would not have been nearly has good. Also, I much prefer Katie Holmes to Maggie Gyllenhaal in the role of Racheal. But, still, it is a great movie that I thoroughly enjoy.


So, 3 more days until Christmas. Honestly, I am not a big fan of Christmas. I know, I know - DJ is such a Scrooge. But, every year at least one argument breaks out either between my parents prior to the trip to my grandmothers or from other family members during the Christmas party. Really, I would rather just stay home, order a pizza, and watch movies. But, unfortunately, it would be more problems that it's worth if I don't go. So, I suck it up and fake a smile.


On to some positive points......I am madly in love with British television. Some shows that I HIGHLY recommend are: "Life On Mars," "Ashes to Ashes," "MI-5," "Coupling," "The IT Crowd," "Doctor Who" (of course), "Jekyll," "Keeping Up Appearances," and many more. Just like music in general, I have come to realize that I prefer the British over American when it comes to entertainment.


Even though I don't personally like Christmas, I still want to wish all of you a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays. May Santa bring you all that you desire.


Until next time....


 

The Rope Is About To Break

3 comments Posted by spiderdj82 at 6:07 PM


As I sit here and munch on a store bought pumpkin pie and typing on this here blog, I am watching "Julie & Julia." All I have to say is that it is an AMAZING movie (well, the Julia part anyway) and I really wish I could have met this woman. If she was anything like the way she is portrayed brilliantly by Meryl Streep, than I wish I could have met this broad. According to her husband, Julia said, "This is hotter than a stiff cock," in regards to picking a cannelloni noodle out of boiling water by her hand. FREAKING HILARIOUS!!!

Also, I would love to have a relationship with someone like Julia had with her husband. What a beautiful relationship, if what was portrayed in the movie is true.

 Now, for the expected downturn of mood. I checked my bank account balance earlier and I am in the negative. Not by a little, but a pretty good deal. Why? Because I don't get that much money at all and my car payment was taken out, which is $146 plus my phone bill of $78. My unemployment paycheck is only $200, which, if you add the two bills together, is over that amount. So, I was in the negative but then the next week my car insurance was taken out which put me BACK in the negative after the check was deposited into my account. The next week, another $146 was taken out for a car payment. Again, back in the negative even more. Then you have the $25-30 bank fee. I have no clue how I am going to get through this. My parents don't have money to help me, because they are having problems of their own. I hate living here but I can't move because I can't stay out of the fucking negative due to my bills I have accrued during the time of having a job and getting over 2x a week more than what I am making now. Life fucking sucks!

In the meantime, I have decided to stray away from the idea of moving out of the state until around June/July of next year. I need to save money (HA!) and try to get back on my feet a bit before venturing to a new state and life. I am trying to convince my step grandfather to let me live with them near Rock Hill, SC, where I can get two part time jobs and take my science class to FINALLY get my bachelor's degree. I haven't applied to any jobs up there yet because, without a place to stay, there is no point in having a job there. Also, there is no point in applying for jobs here, because my dad is looking for other employment in Rock Hill, so if they move, I have to move with them. Ugh, I don't know what I am going to do.

To tell you the truth, reading comments in Facebook and Twitter make me want to burst out crying. People keep putting how they are going on vacation......going shopping......going to see movies......hanging out with friends......being in shows......hell, just living life. Why can't I have that? I know people say (ad nauseam, I must add) that life is what you make of it. That is very true. BUT, unfortunately, money makes the world go 'round and you have to have it to "have a life." Some may wave their hand at that comment, but it's true. To get anywhere, you have to have money for gas; You have to have gas to drive your car; You have to have a car to go places; You have to have money to do majority of things, etc. Hell, even going downtown just to walk around, you have to have money to pay for either the parking meters or to park in a parking garage.

I know people are trying to comfort me by saying that everything will get better and life could be worse (both are very true statements), but, honestly, saying these things to someone in the middle of a shit storm is like giving an ipod to a deaf person. Great gesture from the person, but ultimately not going to help. That may sound evil and bitchy, but it's the truth. What I am going through may not seem like a big deal to some that are battling cancer or losing their homes, but to me, it seems like it's the end of the world. I just want to know when I am going to catch a break!?!? For two years now, I have lost a wife, a home, a job, a great friend (we are still friends but no where as close as we once were), and I am broke as hell. I am honestly not ready for life to throw another thing at me. I am barely keeping it together as it is and I'm becoming more and more secluded from my friends because I can't face hearing them talk about how great their lives are going. Also, I can barely hold back the tears. In fact, I am crying as I type this. Come on life....give me something soon that will make me happy, because I feel that I deserve at least something small.

Well, "Julie & Julia" is over and now I have to find something else to watch.

Until next time.......

 

It's Been Awhile

0 comments Posted by spiderdj82 at 5:32 PM


Wow, it's been forever since I have updated this thing. Currently, I am sitting at my grandparent's house watching "Survivor." First off, I don't watch this show because these ignorant people get on my nerves. The only reason I am doing it now is because they only have one television in the house with only, about, 5 channels and they are watching it.


Tomorrow, is Ian's (the baby) funeral. I still haven't seen a picture of Ian yet. My sister was pregnant with him for only 7 months before giving premature birth to him. Apparently, her cervix wasn't strong enough to hold him because she started giving birth to him while sitting at home. So sad. Right now, she is running all over the place, and I don't think it has hit her yet, but when it does, it's going to hit HARD.


As soon as the funeral is over, I am going to head back home. It's really sad to say, but the less time I spend with my family, the better it is. So far, I have been able to avoid any arguments and I want to keep it that way. Fo' Sho'.


I need a job ASAP. This unemployment check is not cutting it at all. AT ALL! I have absolutely no money for anything. I mean, I can barely pay my car payment, phone bill, and car insurance. Let's not even talk about doctor's bills because those suckers are not getting paid at all. I know they are affecting my credit, but there is really nothing I can do right now. I am going to keep applying for jobs and just hope for the best, ya know?!? The Ohio move is not going to happen for a good while. I am trying to get a job in Rock Hill and, hopefully, live with my grandparents until my parents move up here. Ugh!

 

Green Is Not My Favorite Color

0 comments Posted by spiderdj82 at 1:55 AM


It's 4:55am and I am still awake. Yeah! I am so over this insomnia bullcrap.

But, anyway. It's been a while since I have updated my blog and nothing really has been happening during that month. Just me laying in my bedroom all day, every day, looking and applying for jobs that no one is calling me back about. So, I continue to look and collect unemployment.

The thing I have noticed a lot of lately, is that I am getting more and more jealous of other people to the point of me getting upset. I posted a video on facebook today of a song from the tv musical movie, "A Christmas Carol" and someone remarked that they were in the show. I, literally, got so mad I had to walk away from the computer. Why? I am so tired of hearing about people being in shows and auditioning and I don't have that opportunity. The nearest theatre to me is almost an hour away and I don't have the money for gas to go there if I am cast in a show. I am tired of listening to people doing things that I want to do and can't. A lot of my friends live in, and around, NYC and I read their posts about going to a Broadway show or going to Times Square. I have been wanting to go to NYC since I was 13 and have yet to do it because I have no money. It all boils down to money and I am sick and tired of not having any. All of my unemployment checks pretty much go to bills, leaving me with almost nothing since my money has been cut a great deal from when I had a job.

I am just so tired of reading/hearing that people are living their lives and doing what they love while I sit in my room and listen to my damn parents argue every two seconds and staring at my computer screen because I don't have the means to go out and do anything other than see a movie once in a while. And, on top of that, I am so tired of hearing/seeing people talk about going out and doing stuff with their friends/significant others. I am literally sick of being alone. It's been just me for 2 years (minus a couple of months when I was dating) and I want someone, anyone, to be around me to hang out with; to laugh with; to go driving around with, etc. Being alone fucking sucks and it's worse now that I don't have a job to take my mind off of it for a while.

My friend posted something on Facebook to the degree of God sometimes put storms in your life for you to learn something. My question back to him was, "What is my lesson, then, and when is it going to be over? I think it's gone on for long enough." Granted, I am not sick, homeless, being beaten, etc. that are A LOT worse than what I am going thru, but it is still my own personal storm of loneliness, depression, jealousy, etc. I am dealing with and it's been 2 years now. When the hell is it going to be my turn to be happy again? After 27 years, when I am going to finally be content with life and able to say, "I love my life?" I don't even know who the hell I am. I am what other people think of me, and that is not a way to be, but right now that is how I see myself.

Okay, enough of this depressing bullshit. I am off to bed. Goodnight!

 

It Has Come

3 comments Posted by spiderdj82 at 4:40 AM


THE DAY HAS FINALLY COME!!!


Today, October 9th, is my last day at this job. I am at work 30 minutes early to try to catch up on things before the rush of patients start. I don't think it has hit me yet, because I still feel like I have to come to work next week. But, I don't. HALLELUJAH! All I know is, bitches better give me the unemployment they promised me or there WILL be a fight.


After work, I am leaving to go to my grandmother's house to spend the night there, and then leave there about 4am so I can get to Ohio by 2pm. I am going to be tired as HELL. Thank God, I have a few hours to take a nap before going to see Ed in "You're A Good Man, Charlie Brown." Talk about excited. For one, I haven't been to a show in forever and, secondly, I finally get to hear Ed sing. He is supposed to be amazing, and I can't wait. Also, I am excited to finally meet my long lost brother. It needs to be tomorrow RIGHT NOW!


I posted this on my twitter, but this morning I made sure everything was in my car, and I ran back inside to take a shower. While getting dressed, I put my shoes on and then realized I was still in my underwear. I couldn't help but bust out laughing at myself. So much going on in my mind, that I forgot to put pants on. Not cute!


Okay, I have to get off of this so I can start some work while I listen to ABBA. :-)

 

Pray For My Sister

1 comments Posted by spiderdj82 at 7:44 AM


Just a head's up - this is not going to be a happy, funny blog.


First off, I am worried about my sister. She is pregnant with a jerks baby (he beat her) but she just found out that her baby's lower spine is not developed properly so he's probably not going to be able to walk and/or control his bowels. She is SOOOO depressed about that, saying that the baby is being punished because of her mistakes. And on top of that, the jerk wants her to get an abortion because he "can't have a baby like that." What an asshole. My parents are going up there tonight for a couple of days to be with her because she is having such a hard time. I love my sister and hope everything turns out okay.


In a selfish, not so important turn.....I hate the way I look. Not just the weight (which is a HUUUGE issue) but me in general. On camera, I look okay but I noticed myself in a mirror walking back to my desk and I look like a flippin' blimp. I need...need....NEED to lose weight. I am tired of seeing this fat, ugly piece of lard in the mirror.


Damn, I am not in a good mood at all.

But please keep my sister in your thoughts a prayers. She needs it, badly!

 

There Be Some Evil Bitches 'Round These Parts

1 comments Posted by spiderdj82 at 9:53 AM


Something that I have always known, was validated today while I was standing in line for lunch. These three women were talking about dog fights in some area around here and they were all, "OMG, I love them dog fights. I used to pay so much money to go every weekend and watch them." Then they started talking about how the people who run said dog fights kill the dog that loses and they were saying it in a manner as if they were talking about getting their hair done. If I had more courage, or balls of steel, I would have said something but I just shut my mouth and ordered my food. Reason #4651351065403 I want to leave the south is because of this crap. I know dog fighting is rampant all over the country, but the south is HARDCORE into it. Let's see those women get thrown into a ring with knives and shards of glass and see how fun it is. Stupid bitches.


On another note, I went to Walmart and got the last little bit for my Ohio trip this Saturday. It needs to hurry up because I am muy excited. I've never driven such a far distance by myself. I think the longest I've ever done is 4 hours, and this one will be 11. I've also never gone further north than West Virginia or further west than Georgia. I am going to be tired as hell when I get there, but thank God for a few hours before Ed's show where I can get a nap in. I am going to have next to no money for this trip (aside from gas money), so I am going to have to be extra cautious as what I spend money on. Cheap ass food or sandwhiches for me. Woot! *sarcasm*


Today begins the countdown of the end of this job. To say that I am ready for it, is a VAST understatement. I am just tired of all of the b.s. this hospital seems to be all about. Almost no training and instead of telling you your mistakes and showing you ways to fix it, they let it build and build and build and then jump all over you for not doing it right the past month. How the hell does that work? I can't learn unless you tell me. Hopefully my next job won't be this incompitent. 'Fo Shizzle!

 

Get Your Ass Gone Already!

1 comments Posted by spiderdj82 at 8:34 AM


I think I have the flu. Funny, since I just got the flu shot yesterday. Either that, or I am having a mild reaction to the flu shot, which I don't think so since I have been kinda sick since earlier this week. But, man today is the worst so far. Last night, I went home and didn't even take the nyquil, but passed out anyway around 6:00pm and woke up this morning at 7:00am. And when I say "wake up," I mean alarm going off and having to force myself not to fall back asleep. I was fine laying still, but as soon as I moved to get out of bed, my whole body screamed in pain. I literally I had to lay there with my leg hanging off of the bed for a couple of minutes. My body is still sore right now. Also, my sinuses are still blocked and I have no appetite. Since I fell asleep so early last night, I didn't have dinner. I didn't have breakfast either but forced myself to eat lunch since I know I should be eating something. But, in all honesty, I am not hungry. Snacky...maybe. Hungry, no! This shit needs to end by Monday. I have no plans this weekend but to lay in bed, so it can do it's thing and get gone.

ONE MORE WEEK EXACTLY UNTIL I AM GONE FROM THIS HELL HOLE! Thank you, Jesus! *speaks in tongues*

 

Sleep Deprivation - Thou Art A Bitch!

0 comments Posted by spiderdj82 at 11:59 AM


Yup, still sick. I had a horrid night sleep last night and finally decided just to give up around 4am. I'm probably running on about 3 hours of sleep all together. I just felt like I was suffocating last night due to my sinuses being blocked. Then, around 6am, I started coughing and haven't stopped. I went all year without having this crud, so why am I getting it now with my Ohio trip only a week away? Hopefully, it will be gone by next Saturday. Tonight's mission - high dosage of Nyquil and then bed. And in a kind of ironic twist, I went and got a flu shot today. Woo Hoo!


My parents decided yesterday that they are going to go to my grandmother's house until Saturday, so I have the whole house to myself. Too bad I don't have a secret lover I could bring over, because boy do I need it. Just sayin'! But, the peace and quiet will be nice tonight as I try to keep some much needed sleep. I am so sick of being sick. Ya dig?!?


For some reason, I am in the mood to have a horror movie marathon. I think Saturday, I am going to gather up all of my horror dvds and just have a day with them - popcorn and all. I love me some horror movies now. Yessir, I do!


I am so freakin' ready to go home. Don't want to be here and I am sick of looking at this place. Come ON one more week. Watch it drag, too. Dangit!


 

A Fond Farewell

0 comments Posted by spiderdj82 at 6:35 AM


I'm still sick. I think it is actually worse today. Now, I have one of those headaches that makes you dizzy. Plus, it is 57 degrees outside and I am SWEATING. I am glad this is happening now, so I can get over it by the time I go to Ohio on Oct. 10th. That's right, folks. The parentals are holding up their end of the original bargain and paying for the hotel room. WOO HOO!!!


I found out last night when I got home, that my mom and dad gave our puppies to some elderly couple who just lost their yorkie (she died). I would be sad about it, but they really need people who will pay attention to them and play with them. I tried to do it as much as I could, but my parents would just shut all of the doors and they would only have the hallway to run around in. That's no way for 2 dogs to live. So, Jensen and Cinnamon.....hope you are enjoying your new life. Salud!


 

Sickly Sad

0 comments Posted by spiderdj82 at 7:18 AM


I don't feel well today at all. I think my dad passed something to me, because he has been having stomach issues and cold-like symptoms and now I have it. One of the worst things about this job, is that there is only one person who is trained to come take my spot when I am out or need to leave early. And OF COURSE the day I really want to leave, she says that she does not have a vehicle, so I have to stay at work. They need to figure something out, because I can't keep feeling like this and be expected to have all of my work done by the end of the day.


Yesterday, while I was at work, I was happy. When I got home, it went in the complete opposite direction. I felt so alone and sad. I get that way a good bit, but last night it was more overwhelming than usual. Besides checking the websites I go to to see if there has been any updates, I virtually stayed off the internet last night, which is RARE for me. I just didn't feel like being on it. What I did do was watch the original "A Nightmare on Elm Street" and made a sad/depressing mix. Pass the ice cream right on over, right? I think it's all of my emotions and stress finally starting to get to me. The stress of losing a job and possibly moving....and the emotions of just being alone with no one to hang out with or talk to. I also think that the sickness started to show itself last night as well, and it just hightened everything. Damn, I want to go home.


But, speaking of "A Nightmare on Elm Street," the trailer for the re-vision of it just came out yesterday. I have been so against this since day one because it is one of my favorite horror movies next to "Halloween" and I thought it was perfect the way it was. Well, after seeing the trailer, I changed my mind. I am still not convinced but it does show that it is paying tribute to the original but at the same time, doing it's own thing. Plus, Jackie Earl Halie is a great actor and I am sure he will do Robert Englund justice. If you want to see it, the trailer is on myspace and youtube. Looks purdy good.


Still haven't had a definite answer about the parentals paying for the hotel so I can go to Ohio. I keep telling them I need to know so I cancel my plans before it's too late, but they still have to think about it. Either way, I wish they would just tell me. Either I am going or not. It's that simple, folks.


I want to go to sleep for the next few years, please. Thank you!

 

A Fat Boy Shall Destroyeth The World

0 comments Posted by spiderdj82 at 9:54 AM


I am so tired of having turkey burgers for lunch. Unfortunately, that is the only thing in the cafeteria worth eating. I really want to try the "Morningstar" food products, like the nuggets and pattys. I hear it's pretty good and healthy for ya. And of course, I would open up the blog talking about food. Damn, I need to lose weight!


In just a little over a week (11 business days to be exact), I will be gone from this job. The worst thing about knowing when your end date is, is that it becomes harder and harder for you to do your work, because the attitude of "what's the point? I'm leaving soon anyway" sets in. Well, at least it does for me. It takes extra effort to get up to come here and when I AM here, I am just "blah."


In Ohio news, my mom just informed me yesterday that they may not be able to give me the money they said they were going to give me for my birthday when the NYC trip was still set. They said they were going to pay for my plane ticket, but since I am not going to NYC, I said that they could take that money they were going to spend on the plane ticket and just pay for my hotel stay in Ohio. They said, "sure." Now, it's all, "I don't think we'll be able to because we have to take the money we have to pay bills and back taxes." Okay, I understand that and root you on, but why are you telling me this now when it's so close to when I am planning on going to Ohio for a couple of days? Why couldn't you have told me this a couple of weeks ago when it was just an idea. I am still in talks with them about it, but yeah......not a happy camper.


On a completely different note, do you ever get the idea, or feeling, that you are being used? I do one nice thing for a couple of people and then all of a sudden it's like the only reason they talk to me is to get me to do it again. And no, it's not whoring myself out. That would be a travesty put upon the world if I did that. I think that there is a verse in Revelation that states that one day a fat boy will take off his clothes in public and bring the world to an end. Anyway......got off on a tageant there.....do you ever feel like that? Well, the "being used" thing. Not the whoring yourself out. Damn, there I go on that tangeant again.


Of course, I have to write about something that happened at work, since it seems every day here is worth writing about. This woman came in for her evaluation (first visit) and when she sat down with me to schedule her appointments, she goes, "My husband left me and is living with some younger woman." All I could do was look down at the paper because I honestly didn't know what to say. Then she broke into the sob story about being together for 29 years and he is going to keep her on his insurance because she has to get something out of that 29 years." I kept saying that I was sorry, but why would you tell a total stranger this? I understand she just wanted to have someone to listen to her and be, kind of, a shoulder to cry on, but that is what family and friends are for. I feel bad for her, but it just made me feel weird her telling me all of this.


Okay, kiddies. It's about that time that I get back to work. Have a great day! *Muah*

 

Crazy Senior Balls

0 comments Posted by spiderdj82 at 10:22 AM


I ate so much during lunch, I feel like Kirstie Alley, pre Jenny Craig *barf*.


I really should be working, but I decided to take a moment to update the ye ol' blog. I almost threw my Sobe Life Water bottle at a patient earlier. Bitch came in here at 12:20pm and got mad when I told her that lunch is not over until 1pm. I would understand if she was new, but she has been here a while. Like my boss says, "If ever there was a person that the word 'crazy' could be used to identify.......it would be her." Seriously, she a nuttah!

The new FAME came out today, and I really want to see it. Mainly for Kherington from "So You Think You Can Dance" and, of course, the dancing. It has gotten horrible reviews, but if it carried any other title, I bet it would get raves. It's not gritty like the original so, of course, it's a bad movie. Granted, I haven't seen it yet, so it could very well be a disaster. I don't have any money, so I can't go watch it unless padre lets me borrow some. Actually, what I think I am going to do this weekend is just sleep. I tend to do nothing BUT sleep when I am not at work, but I can't get over being tired. No matter how much I sleep, I feel like I haven't had any in days. I know I have sleep apnea, and I would get that professionaly diagnosed, if it wasn't for being so damn
expensive. Even with insurance, they still want me to pay over $200. Um....no thank you!

Did I mention about the old guy that dropped trow in front me yesterday? I don't think I did. This old guy (in his 80s) was walking towards me to schedule his future appointments, and all of a sudden I saw him undo his belt/pants and pull them down a little. I was about to scream like demon at church camp before I realized he was tucking the back of his shirt in. Yeah...senior balls is not on the top of my list of things I want to see before I die. Hell, I don't even want to see my own when I get that old - lookin' like a crumpled piece of notebook paper.

*shivers*

 

Start of a New Adventure?

0 comments Posted by spiderdj82 at 10:15 AM


It's been over 3 months since I wrote in this blog. Wow! Anywhoo, a lot has changed since June. For one, I am about to lose my job in two weeks exactly. Not being fired or anything. Technically, I am resigning since I gave a two week notice, but I am still going to be able to get unemployment benefits due to the hospital putting me in a position that I am really not qualified for. They hired me thinking that I knew how do admitting patients and everything that goes with that, but I have never done that at the hospital. I did the billing side, and told her that in my interview. Oh well. A couple of months ago, I would probably be all depressed and crying and shit, blaming God or hating myself but not this time. I don't know if I have just matured the last couple of months, or what, but I am seeing this as an opportunity. I have wanted to leave S.C. since I was but a wee tot, and with me no longer having an 8 hour/5 day a week job, I am able to dedicate all of my attention into moving. I all ready have a place picked out in Ohio and the manager of the apartment complex and I have been emailing each other back and forth. Only thing I need now, is a job.


That aside, everything is virtually the same as it was before. Parents still fight.....sister is pregnant......hate living where I do. But, the prospect of moving fills me with hope and excitement that I have not felt since I was about to go to college for the first time. I know a lot of people are going to ask, "Why Ohio?" Well, the main reason is to be closer to my friend, Ed, who is, virtually, like a long lost brother. Our lives are so mirrored, it's scary, and I just think it will be fun getting to know him better. And more than likely, people will be yelling at us to stop singing, because we have all ready started a list of duets to record. LOL! Also, it's cheap as hell to live in the area I am looking at. It's about 40 minutes from Columbus, OH so it's not bad at all to be away from the action, as it were. I am trying to make a trip from Oct. 10-13th to go to Ohio and look at the apartment and meet with Ed and look for any place hiring. Hopefully birthday money will be headed in my direction, so I am able to go.


The only thing I wish would change at this exact moment is my damn sinuses/allergies. I have been having serious congestion for the last two weeks and it is driving me frackin' insane. I'm taking Claritan D, and it's helping a little bit, but it needs to hurry up and be winter so I don't have to suffer for a bit of time.


What else? I am getting SERIOUSLY obsessed with indie music. I used to be all about the top 40 hits, but since meeting Chess, Ed, and Bob, I have gotten really into indie music. Now, it's basically all I listen to. I've also gotten really into making mix albums. I use to make them all the time when I was younger but stopped. Scott, Chess, and Ed have rekindled that for me, as well. YAY friends!


I guess that's all for now. I have to get back to work (BLAH!) but I'll try to keep this updated as often as I can.


Peace out and whatnot! :-)

 

A New Beginning

2 comments Posted by spiderdj82 at 9:40 AM


So for those that have been reading my blog (give a "HAY" if you do read it), you may have noticed that a lot of my posts are missing. Well, I decided to delete them. Every single post was depressing as hell and I just didn't want that filling up my blog. Granted, I am not promising that a depressing one won't come along, but EVERY post. Bish, please. I need to get a handle on things and think before I write.


I am in an unusually good mood today and I don't know why. Forget the reason, I am just glad I am in a good mood. For those that read my twitter, you all ready know this story, but today while I was scanning papers at work, this guy comes pratically running in the office saying that he needs to see Dr. Nivens. Okay, this doctor is a pain management doctor and he only comes every other wednesday. So, I advised him that he is not here until next wednesday. He then starts going on about his arthritis and then.......this is the kicker.....he goes, "I am worth $40 million. I have a $6,000 guitar that I can't play because of my hand which causes me to get sad. Last night, I was so sad that I got drunk. When I woke up this morning, I was in the hospital and I pissed the bed. They had to put a cathetar in my pecker."


It took all that I had, plus the help of God, to keep my mouth shut. I mean, when he said the "pecker" part, I let out a "ppppt" as I shut my mouth. But, it was SO weird. Pecker. HA!


After class tonight, I am going to go see UP since this weekend is dedicated to nothing but studying. I have another Chemistry test on Monday and I am SO not ready for it. I got an 80% on my last test (which is a "B" in this class) and I had one of the highest grades. How the HELL did that happen? So, so far I am on a good track to pass this class and get my diploma. I am going to strive for higher, but ALL I need is "D" to pass. Please let it happen.


Um....what else?!? I am trying to organize a trip to NYC in October for the week of my B-Day (Oct. 12th) but I am not going to get my hopes up this time around. I am still paying out of my ass for this car and insurance so we'll see how much I save up. I am also thinking about getting a part time, weekend job but I don't how I feel about a full time job (8am-5pm)...class 4 days a week in the evening for 2 hours....and then a weekend part time job. I need the extra money but I am going to be worn out beyond belief. I am all ready super tired as it is. We'll see how it goes. Not set in stone or anything.


Okay, lunch is over and back to work I go. :)